So Two Guys Walk into a Bourbon Bar…


Bartender says inquiringly, “What can I get ya?”

First guy  (JD) looks to the second guy (CB) and says assuredly, “Get what you want, it’s on me.”

CB replies surprisingly, “No, really? Are you sure?”

JD postures efficaciously, “Of course, it’s my treat, my friend!”

CB orders confidently, “I’ll have an Old Fashioned.”

Bartender asks specifically, “And what bourbon would you like?”

CB responds with certainty, “Blanton’s…of course.”

JD plants his hand down firm on the bar and says expressively, “Make that two!”

CB smiles then nods impressively, “Thank you. Very nice choice.”

JD snaps a crisp Alexander Hamilton ($20) in his hands undoubtedly, “Your welcome and I agree.”

Bartender returns with their drinks rapidly, “Here ya go. Two Blanton’s Old Fashioneds.”

JD slaps down the Hamilton convincingly, “For you fine sir and keep the change.”

The entire bar pauses dramatically.

Bartender sneers then glares at CB with conspiracy.

CB looks at JD and winces with anxiety, “Uh, that’s not…”

Bartender grins and interrupts satisfyingly, “That will be $32.50.”

Dazed and confused, JD utters embarrassingly, “…I am sorry, did you say $32.50?”

Bartender retorts sarcastically, “Why yes fine sir…most definitely!”

JD fumbles for another Hamilton discouragingly.

CB tenders a Ulysses S. Grant ($50) immediately, “No worries. I’ll get this one.”

JD apologizes humbly, “I am sorry. I had no idea.”

CB eases comfortingly, “My pleasure, I’ll let you buy the next one.”

JD smiles and says, “Happily!”


The above story is based on true events that may or may not have happened in Annapolis, MD, January 2016 inside Dry85 Bourbon bar. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.


The moral of the story: No matter the price, bourbon spent on friends, is time well spent.


Bourbon enjoyed while writing this article: Blanton’s KSBW, 461/2% ABV or 93 proof (NAS) Blanton Distilling Company, Frankfurt, Ky.